Mmmm....I love it. Keep writing, Ben. It's very good.
Posted on: August 14, 2008 at 10:22 PM"without delusions of separation"
Beautiful.
Posted on: August 15, 2008 at 1:27 PMBeautiful.
Posted on: August 15, 2008 at 7:43 PMBen,
Thanks for sharing these with me, I really enjoyed them.
Paul Garner (Gonsalves!)
Ben: super.
Posted on: August 17, 2008 at 9:14 AMI don't like your sense of enjambments. Many line breaks seem immature and others pointless. Also, I didn't spend too much time on the content, but ideas seemed vague and also like they didn't very far. Most of the language I like though. I'd be happy to give more feedback on request.
Posted on: August 19, 2008 at 9:53 PMThat would depend, of course, on what poets one has studied. I am striving to be a mature poet, and effective communicator. But it takes a long time, you see. A very long time, and much attention, to reach real confidence. Meantime, I endeavor at least, to cut the apple in hand wide open. Thankyou everyone for reading.
Posted on: September 8, 2008 at 5:48 PMIt might depend on what poets you've read, but for the style in which you are writing, it seems clear where the line breaks should go. Also, I think it's more important for young poets to maintain tight verse. Only once you are established can you get away with loose lines. Young people who strain for a voice don't have the luxury of being ambiguous.
Posted on: October 6, 2008 at 3:30 PMMy brother is very old. He writes of roots and folk, soil. His voice is not young, does not speak in frenzy like a child constantly coloring outside the lines. He hums a deep, slow truth, like the earth in her movements.
Posted on: November 25, 2008 at 1:24 PMlast time the earth moved as if to talk was when eden sank in grief
Posted on: December 27, 2008 at 5:26 PM
Good work, Ben.
Posted on: August 5, 2008 at 12:58 PM